


Finalizing Our Family

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Adoption, Blended family, F/M, Found Family, cameos by Zara and Gil, leave me here to cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:27:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24706057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: Noah's been thinking. About Nick and Gil and his friend Hailey.
Relationships: Nick Amaro/Olivia Benson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Finalizing Our Family

"I have a question," Noah says one day when he and Olivia walk home from dance class.

Liv looks down at him, not surprised at his serious tone. She and Nick had both noticed how quiet he's been the last few days. When they'd asked, he'd simply said he was thinking, and they'd done their best to give him space. "What is it?" Liv asks, wishing she could take his hand. But he's nearly eight and doesn't want to hold hands or hug much anymore. 

"Do you think Nick would want another son?"

Liv has to fight not to stop short. Noah's staring straight ahead, still walking slowly. "He thinks of you that way," Liv says. "I know you know that."

"Yeah, I know that," Noah says, his sharp little nod a replica of the way Nick agrees to things when he's also thinking too much. It makes Liv's heart ache in the best way. 

"So, you mean differently than what you have now?"

"Yeah." Noah stops at the corner to wait for the light to change. He looks up at Liv then, and there's a depth of uncertainty in his eyes that makes it even harder not to hug him. "Hailey's stepmom adopted her. She talked about it at lunch on Monday."

It's Thursday. Noah's been on his streak of quiet days since Monday night. Liv has to fight back tears. She doesn't want to worry him. "That got you thinking, huh?"

"Yeah." Noah stares at the Don't Walk signal across the street. "I know I call him dad sometimes, and he doesn't correct me, so I figure he wouldn't mind if I called him dad all the time, but…"

Liv waits him out, tapping him lightly on the shoulder when the light changes and they can walk. Noah stays quiet for most of the next block. They turn right to head towards their building, and Liv watches Noah out of the corner of her eyes so she can't miss when he starts to talk again. 

"Do you think he wants another son?" Noah finally says, half a block from the front door. 

Liv does stop short at that. She touches Noah's shoulder to stop him as well. "Do you think he doesn't?" she asks. 

Noah shrugs. "Gil doesn't really like him."

It's more complicated than that. Noah doesn't know Gil's background, only that he's Nick's biological son and doesn't enjoy spending time with the rest of them. Liv and Nick have never said much about it to Noah or Zara, only that they love Gil and sometimes people have a hard time with their emotions. Liv knows Nick's sat Zara down with Maria and explained things to her in more detail, but Zara's a teenager now, and it's easier for her to understand. 

"Even when Gil doesn't seem to like Nick, Nick still loves him," Liv says. "And he loves you the same."

"Okay," Noah says. "Do you think I should talk to him about it?"

"What do you want, exactly?" Liv asks, careful to keep her tone loving. She doesn't want Noah to think he hasn't given a good answer so far. She just wants to be certain he's thinking of things the way it sounds like. 

"I want him to be my dad like Hailey's mom is her mom now," Noah says. "Like you're my mom."

Liv gives up trying not to hug him and pulls him into a quick, one-armed embrace. "If you want to, you should tell him."

Noah nods and briefly returns the hug. "Maybe tonight," he says. 

"You take your time," Liv says. "Let me know if you need help."

"Okay, Mom."

*

Nick makes dinner that night, throwing together a quick stew in the Instant Pot as he asks Noah about school and dance class. He doesn't miss the quick look Liv gives him over Noah's head as Noah drinks a glass of juice and talks about his History test. 

"I only missed two questions," Noah says. "I got my dates mixed up."

"I was never any good with dates," Nick sympathizes as he pours Liv a glass of wine and pulls her close to kiss her on the cheek. "I could always remember who fought who, but never when."

"No one is surprised you can remember who was fighting who," Liv says with a laugh. 

Nick gives Noah a long-suffering look. "Can you believe she says these things to me?"

Noah smiles, then stares down into his juice. Nick gets a beer from the fridge and opens the bottle, taking a quick sip as he waits for Noah to look up. Noah doesn't. Nick cuts a look at Liv, and she gives him an encouraging smile as she backs out of the kitchen. 

"I'm getting into my pajamas," she says. "I've had a long day."

Nick waits for the bedroom door to close, then glances at the timer on the Instant Pot. Noah takes a sip of juice and stares over Nick's shoulder. "You okay, _papito_?" Nick asks. 

Noah meets his gaze, then looks at his juice again. "Hailey's stepmom adopted her," he says. 

Nick's heart slams hard in his chest. He nods slowly as Noah watches him, not wanting to jump ahead of whatever Noah might say. "That's nice," he says. "I bet Hailey was really excited."

"Yeah." Noah takes another sip of juice, then looks into his glass again. "You don't mind when I call you dad, do you?"

"No, I don't," Nick says, and it's the easiest thing in the world to smile when Noah looks at him. "I really, really like it."

"You never asked me to call you dad," Noah says. He doesn't sound sad, just quietly stating a fact. "Would it be okay if I did, though? I mean, on purpose?"

"I'd love that," Nick replies. "I'd be honored."

"Even if Gil never likes you?"

Nick cocks his head. "What do you mean?"

"I heard Zara tell one of her friends that Gil doesn't like you because you weren't his dad when he was little. That he's mad about it."

Nick sighs through his nose. He can't really argue with Zara's distillation of why Gil gets angry with him so easily. "He is mad about it, and that's okay," Nick says slowly. "I know it's not fun or easy, but sometimes people have to be mad before they can be happy again."

"Yeah, you've said that before," Noah says. "But I don't want Gil more mad at you because I'm calling you dad. Or because I…"

Nick's heart beat speeds up again. "Because?" he prompts quietly. 

"I want you to be my dad like mom is my mom. Like Hailey's mom is to her now."

"That would mean everything to me," Nick says. "I would love to do that with you, _mijo_."

"But I don't want you to stop being Gil's dad," Noah adds. "I don't want Gil to think I'm trying to take you away from him."

Nick can't promise Gil won't think that. He's an angry teenager, and he may lash out at Noah because he's an easy target. "No matter what happens, I'm always going to be Gil's dad. I will always be there for him, just like I am for Zara, just like I am for you. If Gil thinks something bad is going to happen because I'm your dad, it's my job as _his_ dad to let him know it'll be okay. I'm not going to love you more because you call me dad. I'm going to love you exactly as much as I've loved you since I met you. I'm going to love Zara the same as I always have, and I'll love Gil the same as I always have."

"Okay," Noah says. He gets down from his stool and runs around the counter, throwing himself against Nick and hugging him tight. "I might call you Nick by accident when I want to call you dad," he says. 

"That's all right, _mijo_ ," Nick says. "That's just fine."

Liv comes out of the bedroom ten seconds later. Nick and Noah are still hugging, and she walks over to them, pressing a quick kiss to the top of Noah's head before reaching out and wiping the tears off Nick's cheeks. "Good talk?" she asks them. 

"Yeah," Noah says, voice muffled because his face is still pressed against Nick's stomach. 

"Really good talk," Nick says, and he smiles as he wipes Liv's tears from her own face. 

*

Nick and Liv let Noah call Zara and tell her himself. She squeals so loudly that Nick and Liv can hear it across the room, and then they hear her yell the news to Maria. Two minutes later, Nick and Liv both have a congratulatory text from Maria complete with balloon and streamer emojis. 

Nick calls Gil after Noah goes to bed. It goes to voicemail as it usually does, and Nick leaves a message with the details. "Noah asked to call me dad and asked me to adopt him. I wanted to give you the good news. Hope your week's going well. Love you, _mijo_."

An hour later, Nick's phone pings with a series of texts. 

**Gil:** Got your voicemail.  
**Gil:** That's cool.  
**Gil:** I don't know if he's called me his brother before, but tell him it's okay.

Liv reads the texts over his shoulder and kisses his cheek. "That's a pretty good response," she says. 

"Yeah," Nick agrees. "It's one of his best ones."

**Author's Note:**

> Not me crying as I wrote this. Nope. 
> 
> Also, Gil grows out of his resentment and is very happy Nick (and Liv and Cynthia) absolutely supported him working through stuff.


End file.
